at four o'clock the alarm goes off again.
Sleep means rest,
But rest is not always sleep.
And what if you can't fall asleep?
then they say you are restless.
Once in bed, involuntarily keep thinking,
sleeping still a bad dream,
Waking up with the sweat on your body,
and your life the same as the nights.
Restless, and a lot going on.
People around you with a lot of trammelant.
Me as someone not knowing where the peace hides,
but people around you who make you bottle everything up.
If only I could get rid of all the stress and worry, deep in a jar,
But there's someone there who wants to destroy your life.
With lies and turning people against you,
and i just work my life suffering and carry on within fats.
Every day I think of rest and sleep,
now I'm typing again, my mouth opens, another deep yawn.
at four o'clock the alarm goes off again.
i live my life again and again.
of what I love but is not with me,
again to someone who thinks he knows me.
No one knows my past, not how hard and not how soft.
No one knows where I come from and what I have become.
A person with feelings
a person with a heart.
it is often forgotten.
and people still think they know me.
That blunt dick or maybe even a freak.
I talk back even though the genes don't want to.
it's in my nature, in the beast as they say.
people think they know me until I disprove it.
Lonely and alone in my dearly paid house,
no one around me, and therefore not really a home.
do what I don't want, because then someone else will be happy,
but who takes me into her life?
one together, one at home and above all with each other.
Nice evenings not boring.
Someone who wants to get to know me, and see my scars
without abusing it.
I love people, but do they love me?
friends around me who make me happy.
My work is my family, because I don't have a family.
and restless again without sleep with my silent sorrow.
The alarm goes off at four o'clock, I already know that.
but what I don't know yet is what fits into my life.
I do my best for a good existence.
Thanks to my employer and good job.
what I love will really come back to me.
And maybe sooner than I think.
for the rest I will always dream,
I'm a fantasy tank in that regard.
I fill myself with beautiful ideals,
but I can't pay with that.
my work, my life, that's how it is now.
and those around me are always in the dark.
my past, sometimes I talk about it, but always a small part.
as much as I'd like to talk, that's really what I want.
But when I tell and say what happened,
I'm sure another one will bounce off his chair.
almost unbelievable so in their eyes I'm a fantasist.
Simply because my past doesn't suit my life.
A man with scars many to understand,
But always see me smiling and I care about you.
despite what has played and still will play,
and I'll still feel myself falling again and again.
because there are people who want to destroy me.
those people were first neighbors, but are now rotten.
Life yes I like that.
no one can take that away from me.
You can scold me,
But know, I'm not stepping aside.
with your back straight and your head up,
for I am never and never will be defeated.
I watch restless days every day.
tomorrow the alarm goes off at four o'clock.
the day full of driving, and the diesel way too expensive.
society humiliated and hard,
but I go on and look with sorrow.
every day I make something of life,
By taking what I can, but also by giving.
Sometimes I'm blunt,
and sometimes, certainly not often, my words are lost.
from lockdown to jab and a mouth cap on your mouth,
of name calling and fighting mostly a lot of dirt.
Maybe then someone who wants to understand me.
and then stand by my side.
but tomorrow the alarm goes off at four o'clock.
I sit restlessly typing.
sleep is what I need, but wake up with dreams.
sometimes it's hard to get out of bed.
but I'm there again, every day on time.
And I don't regret a single moment of everything I do.
Power in life disciplinary,
I only ask people, please stay fair!
You don't know me, and you never will know me.
there will be two who are allowed to, and for them it takes getting used to.
One I already know and will come back to me.
the other has yet to come, although that seems a bit stiff to me.
One thought he knew me, but that's behind us.
he still does not know me, he has not wanted to understand me.
he chose the harepath, away from my existence.
Powerful I am sure!
even more powerful will I become!
even though that currently means restless and a lot of typed words.
My work, my family!
my friends by my side.
and in the future, anytime, I will be happy.
But at four o'clock the alarm goes off again.
the dream will perish again.
that does not detract from my powerful existence!
through discipline on and on regardless of grief.
Every day I keep smiling, that's not how they see my feelings.
No one cares what my past was,
because otherwise I don't fit in their alley again.
Every day, back straight and head up.
discipline every day, but still a great tension.
But for those who think they know me, and think I lied,
really get to know me as far as i show you.
a matter of no prejudice.
a hand up a waving gesture,
a smile while talking.
but he who think they know me bleat many words.
Cor this, Cor that, but always miss the point.
who will really get to know me?
I know myself through and through.
and better than just my name.
confidence in myself has never faded.
Discipline is there to keep me going.
but at four o'clock the alarm goes off again.
I'm on time again.
a smile on my face.
and dream of what lies ahead of me later.